Transform Me

My first marriage lasted WAY too long and was full of mental abuse, and a lot of other issues. Needless to say, it played on my self-esteem ruthlessly. After the kids started coming (4 kids in 3 ½ years, and no, there were no multiple births, all single ones) that he would want to change and be a good dad for them, after all when we were dating he was always saying how much he wanted to be a dad and all of the things he wanted to do with them – all lies – he never did anything with them (1 family vacation was all and that was to go see his brother). He was not there for us financially (so of course I HAD to work), socially, spiritually, emotionally, etc.… he was just plain neglectful in his responsibilities as a husband, father, and I would even say a person. He rarely worked (except for the job he had for 5 years, the others never lasted a year with many months in between). When he was home, he was a body in front of the TV whether playing video games or watching TV, and there was no ...

  This probably should have been my very first post, since this is a new blog, but I got so excited about sharing information to help others that I forgot that people would probably want to know who I am. So here is a little bit about me.   My name is Boots (thus my business name – uses my name as an acronym). I am a mother of 4 children, 3 girls and one boy (of course the boy is the baby, and boy did he hate that). I worked in the education system for a little over 20 years (I have my early childhood degree, my elementary and secondary license with an emphasis in language arts). I just loved watching the student’s faces as they finally grasped a concept and watching them grow and change. My last 10 years were in the special education classroom as an aide and though it was challenging it was oh so rewarding. I also worked for several years with special needs adults and that was very rewarding.   During the COVID-19 pandemic I ended up in the hospital with multiple blo...

It's morning, and you have just woken up, and you need to start your day. You groan because you know that it's time to face your mirror. You want to be someone that can look yourself in the mirror and see the beautiful/handsome person you really are, but you just can’t. There are a lot of us that do anything we can to avoid the mirror. We look at our teeth only when we brush our teeth. We look at our hair only when we brush/comb our hair. We look at our face long enough to wash it and/or put on makeup. We never face the whole us in the mirror. We are just too uncomfortable to do that. How can we get past that? First, and foremost you need to identify why you can't look at yourself. For most of us it is low self-esteem. What caused our low self-esteem? Most of us will discover that it is the messages that we got from people we love and trust - so if they are telling us that we are worthless, unlovable, ugly, etc. then it must be true; right? And then there are our peers an...

 A new year has begun. It's a time when we all set new years resolutions. Unfortunately we get to the end of the year to find that we didn't get it done. Sometimes we even get to February 1st and find that we haven't even started. Why is that? You're probably thinking that it has to do with motivation. Perhaps, but unlikely. Let's take a look at what a resolution is. A resolution is a broad statement of intention or a firm decision for a lifestyle change. For example: I want to lose weight. I want to get a better job. I want to write a book. I want to clean out the garage/shed. I want to step out of my comfort zone and try something new. All of these resolutions are great, but they are stated as a dream, or a vision for the future. There is nothing to hold you accountable. So, how can we turn our resolutions into something more than a dream? You set a goal. You're probably thinking, "well isn't a goal the same thing as a resolution? Just something you w...