The Mirror We Face

It's morning, and you have just woken up, and you need to start your day. You groan because you know that it's time to face your mirror. You want to be someone that can look yourself in the mirror and see the beautiful/handsome person you really are, but you just can’t. There are a lot of us that do anything we can to avoid the mirror. We look at our teeth only when we brush our teeth. We look at our hair only when we brush/comb our hair. We look at our face long enough to wash it and/or put on makeup. We never face the whole us in the mirror. We are just too uncomfortable to do that. How can we get past that?

First, and foremost you need to identify why you can't look at yourself. For most of us it is low self-esteem. What caused our low self-esteem? Most of us will discover that it is the messages that we got from people we love and trust - so if they are telling us that we are worthless, unlovable, ugly, etc. then it must be true; right? And then there are our peers and the way that they treat us, the things they say to our face, and the things they say behind our backs. Even though these may people we don't look up to or even like, it still affects us. 

There is an old saying, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me." As a kid I used to think that was 100% true, but it is not, it’s only partly true. It's true that sticks and stones may break your bones but the lie is that names will never hurt me, because names will ALWAYS hurt us. We may be able to let it slide a time or two, but our subconscious hangs on to those words and eventually starts to tell us that they are true. These messages cut into our soul and get buried there and we keep hearing them over and over again and they start to become our truth. So how do we get rid of them?

One of the best things that we can do when we hear a negative message about ourself, whether from someone else or from ourself, we need to replace them with something positive about ourself. I am sure that people have told you positive things about yourself at some point in your life, right? The problem is, you have heard so many negative things about yourself that you just can’t accept the compliment because you’ve listened to the negative messages for so long. Their compliment feels fake. So, when someone says something positive to you, don’t just brush it off, really hear it, hear the tone of their voice, see their body language, let the message sink into your soul, and make a home there. Then say to them, “Thank you for that, I really needed that today.” Remember, where there is light, there can’t be dark. This one positive message is a small glimmer of light that will collect other light and then push out the negative messages. They say it takes 10 positive messages to replace 1 negative. So, start today to collect all the light of the positive messages you hear so your soul can become bright again.

Along with giving the positive messages a home in your soul, put these on cards and place them around your home so that you read them often. Read it 10 times a day and wa-lah, 1 negative thought just got pushed out. Choose at least one to say to yourself the first thing in the morning and the last thing at night, just before you go to bed. For a bonus practice looking at yourself in the mirror when you say them. You will probably start out by looking only at your eyes, or some other part of you and that’s perfectly fine. When you say your positive message, while looking in the mirror, who are you going to say it to? The person you see in the mirror (or the part of you that you are looking at), or directly to yourself. The ultimate goal is to say it to yourself but most of us have to take baby steps by saying these positive things to whatever or whomever we see in the mirror (like saying it to a friend). Yes, it will be uncomfortable at first, but eventually you will find that you are saying these things to yourself and believing them!

Changes aren’t easy and looking at ourselves when we have low self-esteem is really, really hard. This is where a transformation specialist, like myself, comes in. I will help you to get to know the real you, and not the you that other people’s words created in you. You’ll learn to love yourself – not in a self-absorbed way, but in a way that will give you confidence in yourself. You’ll feel free because you are no longer trapped in the darkness of negative messages ~ you are back out in the light of the truth of who you are.

If you are ready to make a change in your self-esteem and clean out the darkness and let in the light of truth, contact me, Boots at (505) 644-3950. You could also email me at boots.transformsme@gmail.com.

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“You can’t rise from your circumstances without being in them first, and you can’t be in them if you don’t allow yourself to feel through them.”

                                          Unknown